Deep Throat Revealed - I don't care. It happened 15 years before I was born. (Is it just me or do you keep thinking of a '70 something porno?)
Calif. Landslide Sends 18 Homes Crashing - No one would even care if the homes were not worth over a million each.
Lindsay Lohan Uninjured in Car Crash - Damn lindsay eat a samich!
Bird Flu Said Not Behind Chicken Illness - But in front of...
Dutch Voters Reject European Union Charter - Proving to be the only sane people in Europe.
Ahh, screw it. I am not any good at this. Go read Basil or Oystersnout for better examples.